Clueless
by axelfar
Summary: Bunny tries to flirt with Jack, but finds that Pookan customs don't translate over well. Jackrabbit V-day


It's funny how you can go from hating something to craving it. Snow had always irked him; it was cold, messy, colorless, and just caused trouble for everyone. Bunny always dreaded the years when Easter fell in late winter. Would it snow? Would it be too cold? Would the weather cooperate for an Easter egg hunt? The worst was the Blizzard of '68. Snow everywhere from as far south as North Carolina and all the way up into Newfoundland. It stretched west into Illinois. Practically half the North American population had a delayed Easter that year. Aster couldn't have hated snow more than he did at that moment. As for the source of the snow…

Jack and Bunny had a complicated relationship. He first met the winter spirit in the 1850's, and he had to admit he had been a bit of an ass to him. Aster had been out checking for prospective hiding places for his eggs when he spotted Jack freezing over a small stream…

~Flashback~

"Don't you think it's a bit late in the season to still be hanging around here?" he asked. Jack jumped into the air and spun around, holding onto his staff as if his life depended on it. Wide eyes landed on Bunnymund standing by the stream's edge, right foot lightly tapping the ground in agitation.

"You- you're the Easter Bunny," Jack managed to blurt out, and Bunny sensed a flash of hope flare up inside the boy.

"Yes I am, and who might you be?"

Jack landed down next to Aster, who gave him a slight sneer. "I'm Jack Frost. It's an honor to meet you."

He held out his hand, but Bunny merely stared at it.

"Would you mind answering my first question?" Jack slowly retracted his hand and ran it through his hair instead.

"Oh, right. I thought I'd hang around here for a little while longer. This place has the best Easter celebration."

"I hope you're not planning on ruining it, or else you and I have a problem."

"No, no! Not at all!" Jack reassured. "I like watching the children collect eggs. They have so much fun finding them. Your eggs are beautiful, by the way."

Bunny took a moment to figure out if the sprite was being genuine. It was all too common for spirits to feign politeness to each other. "It's my job. And part of my job is making sure every Easter is perfect. You know what a perfect Easter is? One _without _Frost."

He didn't miss the hurt in Jack's eyes, but at the time he didn't really care. This new winter spirit needed to know not to mess with Easter.

"Okay, I'll move further north. It was getting too warm around here anyway," Jack said softly, eyes downcast.

"You'd better. I'll be watching to make sure of that."

Jack's head snapped back up, angry eyes staring Aster down. "What, you think I'm lying?"

"I know every other winter spirit does. I hope you prove me wrong." Reaching into his bag, he pulls out something and tosses it to Jack. "Here."

Jack catches it, giving it a look over. "An Easter egg?"

Aster started walking away, leaving Jack with his gift. "Consider it a peace offering. We do our jobs and stay out of each other's way."

"But-!" There it was again, that hope. He stopped and gave Jack one final look.

"Behave yourself and maybe we can meet up again, under better circumstances. And remember, I'll be watching you." A quick tap to the ground and he was gone, leaving Jack behind.

~End Flashback~

It was so obvious now that Jack had been ecstatic to meet someone who could actually see him, who could interact with him. Who knows how long Jack had last had social contact before that. And what did Bunny do? He snubbed him, berated him, and let his prejudices get the better of him. Thankfully their next meeting went much better. They kept running into each other every decade or so, Jack always delighting at their encounters. Over time, Bunny found himself growing fonder of the frost spirit, actually going out of his way to seek him out. Everything was going fine until Bunnymund came to a horrible realization: He was falling in love. And what did he do with that knowledge? He told Jack he never wanted to see him again. It's no wonder he caused the blizzard of '68. The poor immortal teen just wanted some answers as to why he was being pushed away. Why he would have to be alone again.

Aster felt like the biggest git once Jack officially became part of the Guardians. All the old memories and feelings he'd buried had come rushing back into his consciousness. At first he thought he could ignore it, but with the Guardians meeting more often, he found himself falling in love all over again. Bunny was grateful Jack hadn't asked why he had cut things off between them all those years ago. Perhaps Jack was just happy to have his old friend back. Whatever the case, Aster wasn't going to make the same mistake again. He was going to test the waters and if Jack was interested, he'd give a romantic relationship between them a try.

But how to go about it?

Aster was old. Older than he'd care to admit. But for all his knowledge and experience, he knew next to nothing about human courtship. That's not to say he had no romantic experience at all; on the contrary. He was well skilled in wooing any Pooka he desired. Unfortunately for him, he had no way of knowing if it would work on Jack. Reading through "how to get your man" articles in magazines didn't seem to help much. Aster would just have to stick to his instincts, and if all else fails, get help from the other Guardians.

The first step in Pooka courtship was what humans would call flirting. It was to show your intentions and gauge the other's interest. This step was simple enough. It was basically complements, flattery, and gift giving. It matched what humans did so that should go smoothly.

Aster decided he would start his endeavor at the next Guardian meeting. It was customary that you complimented your love interest's appearance in public in a raised voice. This showed that you liked their traits above everyone else around you. What was usually complimented was their pelt, teeth, ears, feet, or tail. Jack was lacking in a few of those, so Aster would have to improvise.

"Jack, your hair looks very soft and shiny! You have excellent grooming habits!"

"Uh, thanks? It naturally stays like this because of my frost…"

"And your incisors are very healthy and the perfect length!"

Jack gave him an odd look over that. Toothiana flew over to where the two were standing. "Aren't all his teeth just perfect? Personally, I love his premolars. My favorite is the mandibular second premolar."

Her hands were soon in Jack's mouth, explaining why his teeth were so flawless. Aster felt a pang of jealousy. In Pookan culture, this would be considered a rival challenge. Well, not the sticking your hands in their mouth part. "Tooth, what have we told you about doing that?"

"Oh! Sorry, Jack," she said sheepishly as she quickly withdrew her hands.

"It's okay, Tooth. I'm flattered you like my teeth so much." More jealousy. Aster had to do something fast.

"I like your teeth, too! I bet your molars can grind plant matter like nobody's bizzo!" He probably could have worded that better, judging by the odd look Jack was giving him.

"Bah, teeth are good for chewing meat and cookies!" Interjected Nort. "That is reminding me, everyone is invited to dinner after meeting. We are having beef stroganoff. Jack, I insist you stay for it." Aster wearily eyed North as he put a hand on Jack's shoulder. "I do not mean to sound like babushka, but you are so very skinny. We must put some meat on your bones, da?"

How dare North suggest that Jack was anything other than perfect? This was a great insult to his choice of love interest by Pookan courtship standards. Aster had to defend Jack's honor!

"No, he's fine the way he is! He doesn't need _you _fattening him up!" Okay, he hadn't intended to say that so harshly. He also shouldn't have grabbed Jack by the shoulders and moved him a distance away from North. Bunny was letting his instincts get the better of him.

"Whoa, calm down, Bunny. You're right that I don't need fattening up, but dinner after the meeting does sound nice. So long as there's dessert…" Jack's attention turned to North, who gave a laugh and nodded his head.

"It is Ptichie Moloko!"

"North, that is way too sugary!" Protested Tooth. "Think of the damage it could do to Jack's teeth!"

"Is fine, he can brush teeth after."

"What's Ptichie Moloko?" asked Jack.

"You will find out after dinner," North told him. "You don't explain it, you taste it."

"It's a chocolate-covered marshmallow cake," Bunnymund explained anyway. "It's also known as Bird's Milk."

"Bunny, you ruined part of wonder!"

Aster rolled his eyes at North trying to look upset. So far his attempts to flirt with Jack had been ruined by all the other Guardians, minus Sandy. He wasn't there yet otherwise Bunny was sure he'd muck things up, too. As if reading his mind, the sandman gracefully floated down from an open window. Jack was the first to greet him.

"Sandy! I was beginning to think you wouldn't show."

A clock made of sand appeared over Sandy's head. The hands moved around it quickly, and the face was dotted with twelve question marks.

"Don't worry, I lose track of time all the time."

"Now that Sandy is here, we can begin meeting! But first, I must know who is staying for dinner. Must let Yetis know how many plates to set."

Sandy made an image of a cooked chicken with a question mark next to it.

"We are having beef stroganoff, shashlik, borscht, knish and ptichie moloko." North told the sandman. "It is Russian food night, my favorite."

Sandy nodded his head, a huge sand thumbs-up over it.

"I'll stay for dinner, too," Tooth said.

"Wonderful!" North jollily exclaimed. All the eyes in the room then turned to Bunny. Normally he would have declined, Easter preparations would start soon and the Warren needed to be ready, but Pookan customs demanded he stay with Jack until the social gathering was over or Jack rejected his flirting.

"Yeah, I'll stay for supper."

With that sorted out the Guardians made their way to the meeting room. North was at the head of the group while Bunny took up the rear. He was mulling his next move in his head. Jack hadn't reciprocated any compliments, but hadn't rebuked them either. Perhaps complimenting his personality would work better? That would be tricky. There were certain aspects of Jack's personality that Aster didn't really like. His mischievousness, for example. His spur-of-the-moment decision making was another. What Aster loved was how well their centers resonated. Jack was fun, and he used that fun to keep the hope he would be believed in alive for over 300 years. Bunnymund was hope, and the fun and joy Jack brought into his life made that hope all the stronger. Jack also very laid back, which Aster envied. Centuries of sticking to a rigid schedule had left him high strung at times.

"So are you going to watch me chew food during dinner?" Jack asked, interrupting Bunny's train of thought. He was now at his side, the main group having walked farther on ahead.

"What?!" He asked before his mind registered Jack's question. "No, of course not. Why would I?"

"That stuff you said earlier about my molars. Tooth likes to touch my teeth with my permission every once in a while and if you'd like to do something like that, you should just ask me."

"Wait, you actually let Tooth do that? Since when?" He asked flabbergasted.

"Since I became a Guardian. It makes her happy and it's no different than what a dentist would do." Jack said while twirling his staff around. Bunny frowned. He would not become jealous of Tooth!

"I just like your teeth. Your hair's nice, too. And your body weight is fine," Bunny told him almost defensively. Jack gave him a short soft laugh in reply.

"Well thank you, but I think you might be getting heat stroke down in that Warren of yours. You should get out more."

"Can't a bloke just compliment his mate?"

"Just making sure. It would be a shame if we had to shave all your fur off. You'd lose your markings and I really like them."

"Shave me and I'll-" Wait a second… "You like my markings?" Aster's heart leaped for joy. He had gotten a compliment in return!

"Yeah," Jack said as he looked them over. Aster couldn't help the smile that made its way onto his face. "They're really cool. Kinda like tattoos. I tried making my own with my frost, but it's barely noticeable against my pale skin." He pulled up a sleeve to show Bunny the ice tattoo. Aster had to lean in to get a good look at it. On Jack's lower arm were three intricate snowflake patterns starting at his wrist with each one getting progressively larger.

"It's beautiful," Bunny whispered to himself.

"Yeah, but no one can see them. You and North look so badass with them. He told me you did his tattoo."

"Yeah, I did. The bloody wanker hounded me for three weeks until I finally agreed to do it." The worst part about it was how North did it. He flooded him with compliments and went on and on that only Bunny's artistic prowess could give him the perfect tattoo.

"Oh…" Jack looked away from Bunny and rubbed the back of his neck. Aster noticed the sudden shift in his attitude.

"Jack, did you want me to give you a tattoo?"

"Yeah, but if you're too busy I can wait."

This was perfect! One of the more serious forms of flirting was giving your potential lover something that took effort to make or acquire. Bunny didn't just tattoo anyone, so this would also show how serious he was about starting a relationship.

"I'll do it. Just to let you know what of, the more complex the design, the longer it will take."

"I already had something in mind. We can talk about it after dinner." Bunny suddenly realized they had reached their destination. They were alone outside the meeting room door. Everyone else was already sitting down in their chairs and waiting on them.

"Sure thing, Jack."

The meeting went by as usual. Everyone gave a report on how things had been since the last meeting. Tooth and Sandy always had the most to say, since their job was a daily affair. North was in his off season and Jack's season was winding down.

"I'm giving the east coast a final coating of snow for the season. After that I'll stay here with North until I switch over to the southern hemisphere in a few weeks."

"You've done a bonzer job with winter this year," praised Bunny. "Lots of snow days for the ankle-bitters. Tons of new believers."

"And lots of complaints from Mother Nature. All the adults are blaming her for the weather."

"The adults can believe what they want; the children know who's really bringing all the fun."

"Thanks, Bunny." Jack said with a smile. Aster happily smiled back. A forced cough from North ended their sweet moment.

"If that is all for meeting, we can be having dinner now. Does anyone else wish to say something before we adjourn?" He was met with a collective silence. "Very well. Everyone, to the dining hall!"

Aster was grateful North had remembered to serve some vegetarian plates. The knish was delicious as was everything the yetis cooked. He'd drop by for dinner more often if it wasn't for North's constant insistence that Christmas was better than Easter. North had Jack sitting to his right, but Aster had gotten the seat next to Jack. He had to admit the dinner went splendidly. All the Guardians had a great time enjoying each other's company. After dinner was over and Jack had tried the bird's milk cake, they bid their goodbyes for the night. Aster waited for Jack by the Globe of Believers. The glow of the lights filled him with a sense of calm and contentment.

"All your believers are part of this globe, too," Aster told Jack without turning around to look at him.

"Maybe just once you can let me sneak up on you without using your ears to cheat," Jack said playfully. He stopped his stealth walk and walked normally to Bunny's side.

"Now where's the fun in that?"

"You'd be surprised. Surprises are fun," Jack said. He looked up at the globe, eyes taking in all the dots of light.

"It depends on the surprise."

Jack gave a nod. "Well I've got a surprise for you. The tattoo I want is a flower."

"A flower?" That was surprising. "What kind?" Jack blushed, or at least his equivalent of a blush with his cheeks frosting over.

"It's personal, so I'll tell you right before you start tattooing me. I just want a small one on my left ankle."

This peaked Aster's curiosity. "Well lucky for you, something that simple won't take long. I can do it right now if you're up for it."

"Really?! Yeah I'm up for it!" Aster smiled. Seeing Jack happy made him happy.

"It's off to the Warren we go then!" That was the only warning he gave before tapping the ground twice and sending them both into a tunnel. "Race you there!"

"Hey, no fair!"

They raced down the tunnel at top speed, the sound of their laughter echoing off the walls and combining into one. Despite Aster's early lead, they managed to reach the Warren at the same time. After some more playful competition, Aster went to fetch his tattoo gear and Jack waited for him out in a grassy field. He hadn't used it in ages, so it took a while to find. When he finally returned to Jack, he found him dozing off.

"Oy! Wake up!"

"Wha?" Jack asked drowsily. He let out an accompanying yawn as he stretched out his limbs. "You took too long."

"It couldn't find my skin quill. I don't just tattoo people every day, you know." He squatted down next to Jack.

"Skin quill?"

Aster held up a rather normal looking quill with a white feather. "I don't do tattoos like humans do. This is a special quill that draws on skin, only it makes it permanent."

"And here I was thinking you agreed to do this because you wanted to see me in pain." Jack sat up and winked at Bunny.

"I can do it with needles if you want," he replied half serious, half joking.

"I'll take the quill."

"Good choice. Now, I've brought a sketchbook so we could discuss a design-"

"We don't have to do that. I trust you to make an awesome design."

"Are you sure?" Bunny set aside the art supplies. "It's permanent and if you don't like it there's no changing it." Jack nodded his head.

"I've seen your work. There's no way I won't like it."

Aster's heart swelled.

"Lie back down and lift up your leg."

"Only the first date and you're already asking for that, huh? Rabbits…"

Aster chose to ignore that comment from Jack and instead focused on his canvas.

"So what flower do you want?" he asked as he ran a furry digit over Jack's ankle. Was it his imagination or did Jack tremble at that?

"A forget-me-not."

Aster takes a moment to let the implications of that sink in. "Jack…"

"It's stupid, I know… but sometimes I feel like people will just forget about me and I'll go back to being invisible."

"Oh, Jackie…" Aster grabbed him by the waist and pulled him into a hug. "You're not going to be forgotten. Not now, not ever. I promise you that." Jack had tensed up, but loosened up and returned the hug. He mumbled something into Aster's fur that even he couldn't hear.

"What was that?"

Jack pulled back, blushing again. "Uh, um- I said I still want the tattoo."

They pulled apart and Jack laid back down, raising his left foot. Aster set to work, first outlining the design and then inking and coloring it. Jack watched while he worked and to Aster's amazement he actually stayed quiet.

"And done."

The design he chose was perfect for Jack. It was blue forget-me-nots arranged to form a snowflake. White forget-me-knots were added around it to look like falling snow.

"So watcha think?"

Jack pulled him into a hug. "I love it! Thank you, Bunny!"

Bunny hugged him back. He was very happy and content. His gift had been wholeheartedly accepted. His flirting had worked! "You're quite welcome, Jackie."

"You've been calling me that a lot; I like that better than Frostbite."

"It's cuter too, just like you."

Jack snorted at that. "Why E. Aster Bunnymund, are you flirting with me?" Giggles ensued. Oh sure, **now** he gets it.

"I have been all day, mate."

Jack stopped his giggling. "Wait, what?!"


End file.
